So it has officially been 5 years since i started this ride. I can think of a few things in my life that i have done over a 5 year period. It was quite a trip down memory lane this week reading this thing back to Day 1. if you're reading this, you yourself have probably passed this anniversary on your site or are very close. I highly suggest taking a look back at your thoughts. its eye opening. Heres my 5 year recap...

2004:
Getting the ball rolling... I sounded so 'Kanakuk-ish' if that is a term. not even Kanakukish something even more extreme. ex. "God gave me some awesome brothers and sisters in christ to hang out with" Some highlights included a trip to Tennessee with EmmaBfromtheWG and mmm_boy

2005:
The high point and most frequent entries of this blog and the blogs on my subscription list. Xanga was the 'shiz' back in the day even before facebook. I remember making posts in A&S computer lab and waiting 5 or 10 min. to see some comments. Most of these posts are shallow observations of the Christian college world around me and superficial introspections. ALOT of whining about being a college student and struggles of having to go to class. A lot happened this year. I loved cru and hated school. highlights include d shyrock getting a xanga, a survey that made it to everyone and very interesting, and getting to take cello lessons from a certain somebody. (My favorite somebody)

2006:
I apparently never saw aaron dowdall the way i frequently ask for his company. There some classic Tecmo Bowl poems that i really enjoyed reading. BeingJohnMcLaughlin cracked me up. I find it hilarious that i "seem" to be so ahead of the curve telling people to check out bands like 'the fray' and 'band of horses' like i work for spin mag and nobodys ever heard of them before. wow. "damien rice is really good, you should check him out" its 2005. Russo on the other hand knew what he was doing. I guess thats why he had a record label and i didnt. Still A LOT whining about school and being a depressed college student. Highlights include Yadier Molina and an a pretty sweet picture of 4 young guns.

2007:
months begin to go by between posts and eprops are hitting recession like numbers. However, mmm_boy was always good for a comment. I guess facebook was now that youngest sibling that got all the attention. Highlights include telling everyone i was engaged to Let_Me_Be_a_Woman and dream blogging. Oswald was given some good dreams this year

2008:
Xanga was not a priority. sorry i thought i could read through the bible....I got to 1 Samuel

2009:
Let the revival begin! Highlights include knocking up Let_Me_Be_A_Woman entry, this post and the next post i make about not having a vineyard in columbia anymore. yeah. TO BE CONTINUED.

I went to Northern Michigan for the 4th. we stayed at a hotel right on the Lake Michigan coast. it is twilight for like 5 hours up there. Not a joke. It wasnt completely dark until 10:30, sunset at 9:30. The nights felt like slow motion, that was probably the coolest part of being up there. That 7:30 - 9:00 slot when the sun is settling is by far the best time of day. It was cold as well which was strange, high of 70 or 69 everyday the nights were in the 40s. It showed molly and i we wouldnt be able to last up there for more than the 3 weeks in July or August at its high point. I cant imagine the winters up there, we were so glad to slip into the Missouri humidity last night and feel the sweat on our backs in the ride home. What is it with turning the A/C on everywhere you go?? Having A/C does not mean abusing the A/C. Its 65 out and the wind off lake Michigan is freezing and every restaurant is blowing more cold air at your head. It showed me i have to live somewhere warm.

Looking for a job sucks. I haven't REALLY put myself out there and putting my application everywhere but its getting to that point, and i would have liked to have found a job without having to do that. It's just so weird that I've been putting my resume and application at decent places like nicer restaurants and banks to be a teller and not a single response. Most of them hiring. You feel so inadequate and have no self-worth when 7 applications results in 0 responses. Not even a "thanks but no thanks". Just nothing. It makes you wonder if they even look at it or simply throw it away the second you leave the room

I think I found a gray hair on Molly's head last night and it really freaked me out. I had a..."holy-crap, I'm actually growing up and not in college anymore" moment. I think it freaked me out even more that it was on her head and not mine. That in some way everything around me is not in college anymore either. Im closer to 30 than 20 now. All these thoughts of living in dorm rooms and doing nothing on saturday mornings and wasting day after day during the week at friends' apartments in college flashed before my eyes. I felt so sad and wanted those moments back. I think it boils down to the fact that I'm now closer to being a dad than a kid. that sucks. I still want my dad and i to be young and have him drive us to my soccer games and coach me. It's so weird. It is just weird that feel like i didnt get enough of it when i was a kid, that i still miss it. It also seems that people who had the better father and mother relationships and great family time growing up are the ones who want to be young and go through the quarter and mid life crisis'. I had a great childhood and wouldnt change anything, i just want to hit reset and do it all again. And this is stuff we hear all the time and it makes sense, but you still dont care nearly as much until those feelings hit you. Weird.

thats it.
p.s. I love the live versions of "the hardest part" and "Death and all his friends" on this cd. It's still free to download at www.coldplay.com